Mom is home now. She is very peaceful about her decision to pursue only blood transfusions and palliative care. Her voice was happy today. After six weeks in the hospital, she was so happy to feel the wind on her face. It’s good to be alive.
My thoughts betray my calm senses. What will happen now with her? My brain races. I just don’t know what will happen. Hmm. Do I ever? I feel peace again. I turn to face my home, my kids, my life ready to give it all my present attention. A piece of doubt slips in again. But, but, but…..silence. Peace. Piece. Peace.
So, I’ve been silent. Silent in my thoughts. Silent in my feelings. (Not silent with my kids. :)) Silent in my prayers… mostly. My faithful sister-in-law who reads my blog every day has been asking me where the writing has gone. Silent.
“I feel like a stone sometimes,” I say to my sister. “Yes. I have those days too,” she replies.
Next week is Holy Week. Thanks be to God the stone will be rolled away.
A Stony Gratefulness for this week:
- “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27
- sisters who take meals to their mama
- bike riding in the drive-way
- a sister who buys a mattress topper for mom
- swinging to the top of the roof
- Daughter #1 asking to call her Grandma
- plans of a Haiti trip
- allergy medicine
- writing deadlines
- the family I gained by marriage
- peace in all the pieces
- Holy Week