When Hope is Dying

I see the struggle in my mother as she is beginning to experience pain and other symptoms of her disease in a new way. The fight for survival is so strong among us all. I see the wave she rides of frustration, peace, hope, acceptance, fear, anger, sadness. I ride it too. Does she have hope? I wonder. What is she hoping for now?

My hope for her physical wellness is dying. Psychologically I cannot help at times to think maybe this is all a dream. Maybe she’s okay. It’s a joke, right? She has good weeks. Or she did last week. Her tombstone is ready, she says with a chuckle, as she clicks back to my line.

Can someone who is dying have hope? It depends on what they are hoping.

Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
      for my hope is in him. Psalm 62:5 (NLT)

My hope for her well-ness is alive and well. I know that she longs to be with God some days. I know that she will be one day. All shall be well.

What do you hope for? Things? A good day. Rain. A new job. Aren’t these just wishes?

What does hope mean to you? The dictionary sure leaves me wanting with its definition. So, I did a little survey around the house today. Hope is a little abstract of a concept for young ones so bear with their answers.

Me:  “So, what is something you hope for? Or what do you think hope means?”

Claire (4 yrs): “I don’t know, Mama.”

Lydia (6 yrs): “I hope I get a little, tiny puppy someday like my cousin’s dog, Baylor.”

Maile (9 yrs): “I don’t know!” (this stresses her out) “I hope someday I’m a famous horse trainer or in a show on Broadway.”

Anna (11 yrs): “I think it would be cool to have a guinea pig farm someday.” She laughs. “I guess I hope that when I’m an adult I’ll have enough money to own a car and a house and manage all my kids.”

My husband: “Hope is faith that God can and will and is redeeming all things created. This is my hope. Because of that, all life situations have hope in them.”

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 (NLT)

May our hope lie in you O God. Let us lay down our wishes and go deeper, grow up, know true joy. In the hope of Christ our Lord, Amen.



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