So, I was looking back at last year’s posts, and wow, I was doing Advent.
This year, I have to confess to you that we haven’t lit one single, stinking candle. I finally remembered to get the candles last week, though. That was big.
This reminds me that sometimes in your life, you are this awesome, granola mom who makes homemade cinnamon rolls and your own natural baby food, and you faithfully teach your children about Advent, the real reason for Christmas, light candles together all four Sundays, and make sure to watch a different Christmas show every night with hot chocolate and popcorn.
And then there’s other years. Yeah, like this one. This year where it was a miracle our decorations came out and ended up on the tree. This year when still, yes, still, the outdoor decorations are by the front door waiting not-so-patiently for someone to put them out. This year when the little white church that plays Silent Night when I wind it up, still after all these years,doesn’t make me nostalgic…it just makes me cry. This year when all the presents for my extended family Christmas celebration were bought today in between social work calls and writing a graduate paper. This year when one of the dad-burn presents I ordered online never came, and so I went to the UPS office to check on it right before we left for the 5 hour drive, and they told me on the down-low that it might be on a UPS truck in a certain neighborhood, and if I wanted to drive around and find the truck and smile really nice to the driver, he just might look on the truck and find it for me. I drove around like the crazy lady I am these days, found the truck, smiled at the driver, he checked his list, and the dumb package just wasn’t there. This year when I have started all these new things, and most of them are so exciting, but all require work. This year when the only thing homemade is the dirty laundry.
And yet, still we wait too. We might not be sitting around a candle wreath, but we are expectant. I’ve seen it while the girls watch the lights on the tree. We have been quiet…okay maybe only when we were asleep. We have sung carols soft and loud (mainly loud). Are you with me? I don’t know what your year has been like or your fall or your December, but if you are flying by the seat of your pants or hanging on by the skin of your teeth, you can wait too. Hey, Mary was the contemplative one….she was calm and pondering. Zechariah laughed, was silent and then he sang. We are all different, and we definitely have different seasons we are plowing through or dragging through or blazing through.
And I expect in our scatteredness, that Christ Jesus is breaking through right now. Come, Lord Jesus.
And in our grief, our busy, our lost presents, our long, stinky car rides:
Come, let us adore him.