States of Delirium

…If you are trying to stay awake to write a policy paper, you should do a head stand or two. Don’t do three. And certainly don’t ask someone in the room if your legs are straight. They might try to straighten them for you, and then you’ll fall over out of your perfect udyabanda and crack your fingers together. Then you’ll yell at this person, “Not my fingers! The only thing I need right now is these fingers to type this blasted paper!”

…One of my favorite people likes to use these three dots a lot so I’m using them at the beginning of the sentence to throw you. Another of my friends hates the … Sorry Amy.

…One of my sister-in-laws wants me to blog about waiting. I will, but you are going to have to wait for it. 🙂 Wait for it!

…Coffee is not working for me anymore. I think I need a Red Bull. Do you have a Red Bull? Did you want a Red Bull? Actually my dog Tater just came in and blew her breath on me. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same. That helps.

…If anyone wants to weave a rug, there is enough dog hair in my hallway to get the job done. Don’t judge. I ain’t cleaning until this paper is done. And that’s final.

…We had a cart wheel contest with some friends the other day, and I have to tell you that I didn’t win. I’m still a little mad about it. I would have won the head stand contest if we had one.

…Lydia assigned us seats in the kitchen apparently. There are names taped to each chair. This is actually helpful when you aren’t sleeping much. Just follow the signs. Oh, speaking of Lydia, that girl is going to be some kind of organizer. She actually took some big dice and cast lots on who was going to have the greatest morning and the greatest night. Then she hung the results up on a chart. The next morning I stumbled into the kitchen and started making coffee. She ran in and said, “MOM!!! Are you having the greatest morning???” I blinked hard. “Um, what?” “You’re on the list to be the one to have the greatest morning!” I chuckled and then started laughing. “Sure, I guess so. If it’s on the list, then I am.” Her smile is so great.

…One summer a million years ago before these kids and this husband and this job and way the heck before this dad-burn policy paper, I spent in California doing camps for kids. One weekend we were off we went to San Francisco. The group was going to Alcatraz, a friend of mine named Tiffany and I decided to branch out on our own. We walked for hours trying to find the houses you saw at the beginning of that show Full House. No luck, Chuck. So, we went to China Town and had lunch. It was yummy and very authentic. I was sad when they didn’t bring me a fortune cookie. Tiffany and I made a new friend there who lived around the corner and he asked what we needed. I told him I really needed a fortune cookie, so he said, “Follow me.” We did. Yeah. I think we just didn’t care after we couldn’t find those houses. He led us down some streets. Don’t try this at home kids. We found ourselves in an old San Fran alley complete with the fire escapes and laundry. Loved it. He left us. We knocked on the door he pointed us to, and an older Chinese lady who clearly did not speak English beckoned us to enter. Her daughter came out and we told her we wanted fortune cookies but we thought we were probably in the wrong place. She turned around and went in the back of her shop. The older lady smiled nicely at us. I didn’t know what to do so I just smiled. The other lady came out with the biggest bag of fortune cookies that I have ever seen. We laughed and told her we just wanted one each. Her smile faded, and she said no. We bought the bag. We ate fortune cookies the rest of the summer. It was awesome. Our fortunes changed every single day. You never know.

…And now….back to the paper!!!


One thought on “States of Delirium

  1. Dude, I already have half a blog written on waiting. I’m not doing anything with it if you want it. Eh, nermind, I better keep it. That’s true though. I don’t actual have a blog but I have random half finished blog posts on my phone and laptop. One day…<—see what I did there?

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