Pets, Pork and Book Signings


  

So, I have a question: sometimes you have to go to an unexpected funeral at the end of a heavy work week in the middle of writing curriculum at the end of summer while you are on day 63 of P90x3 with your oldest daughter (working out every single day) in the midst of the week of your local book signing. So, you’re distracted a lot. Your kids are soaking up their last bit of lazy at your house’s expense, your bathroom needs a good AJAX scrubbing, and you have callousy-flip-flop feet. I’ll bet you don’t know what AJAX is. Go ask your mom.

You call your big kids from work and ask them to take out the ribs from the freezer feeling good about remembering the dinner plan. But, you have church first and your last appointment at work goes well but longer than you thought. You rush in to get the kids for church and see the meat on the counter they pulled out for you. It ain’t ribs. And you forgot about this mystery meat wrapped in white paper. So, you turn it over, and it’s a pork shoulder from a wild pig your neighbor shot last year and generously shared. I love that neighbor. Except I didn’t receive any bounty from the hunting this year, so I don’t know what that means. And your feet hurt. But you have a book out, so that’s something.

What do you do?

It sounds like a bad riddle. Not clever at all. Here’s the answer:

Deep breaths help. Dude. Just take that pork shoulder, slap in it the oven with some olive oil and garlic salt, and go to church. You need to go to church anyways. Then when you get home, eat it with your kids (the ones who don’t know what ribs are, apparently). Then just sit and enjoy your family. That’s where it is anyways. Sit on the floor. All your pets will come see you. Then you’ll realize you’ve been so busy to even notice them much. And it’s fun because your kids will decide to do a photo shoot with you and the pets and then everyone is smiling even the oldest dog. If you’re lucky, you might have a little dance party with the kids before cleaning the kitchen.

And then there’s the book signing (Yay!), so maybe you should paint your toes, maybe, probably, definitely. And get some sleep because there is yet another workout tomorrow. Also, you can have ribs tomorrow.

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